Roscoes' Feed
It just keeps getting better...
We are still diligently working on upgrading the site. Continue to check back and follow us on Facebook and Twitter. We encourage stalking here.
You can expect the same quality of uproariously hysterical columns of satire and humor. And make no mistake, there is a difference between satire and humor. Satire is the one that makes you wince while you are laughing, we think.
But What’s the Difference Between ‘Uproarious’ and ‘Hysterical’?
One is an agitated adjective while the other is a pejorative non-functional disjunction.
That’s It, We’re Not Asking Any More Questions
Watch for the wickedly exciting, new user-friendly layout featuring images, video, little Zack Sparrow, a SW Florida entertainment calendar and the hottest new band anywhere, The Pirate Eye’s Gypsy Mojo Band.
There will be videos, audio samples and premium music of the band’s red-hot, pulsating originals.
We Have a Really Good Feeling about All This
As well you should. The Gypsy Mojo Band will be seen throughout SW Florida in the near future. So keep your eyes and ears open.
We promise this, and much much more, will be worth the wait. And we are only weeks – if not days away. Well, back to “work”…
The Pirate Eye – A Convenient Distraction
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No matter where you are or what you are doing, The Pirate Eye is conveniently ready to distract and endanger.
Why do people choose to text while driving? It’s crazy, when they could be doing something more constructive – like browsing The Pirate Eye.
And this applies to other non-essential activities that people do while driving. Such as phoning, shaving, applying make-up, swerving, honking, fornicating and singing badly.
But We’re Cool with Sudoku, Right?
And while we are at it, let’s not limit our discussion to what people do while driving.
Because it’s a safe bet people are conducting distractive activities while attempting to perform other, more critical, activities.
Such as fire-fighting, juggling, parenting, skeet-shooting, performing open-heart surgery and voting badly.
The six o’clock news would be a thing of the past if people weren’t majorly screwing up whilst distracted.
Did He Just Say “Whilst”?
So to those with a predilection for dangerous multi-tasking, do it in style. Do it while enjoying The Pirate Eye because we’re everywhere, anytime you need us... uh… you just blew through that stop sign.
Even Ted Nugent Is In the Tank for Obama
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Another pundit in the tank for Obama.
Being on the political forefront, The Pirate Eye is well aware that another prominent political pundit, Ted Nugent, is in the tank for Obama.
The Secret Service was called into action to investigate alleged threatening comments Ted made regarding the Obama Administration.
But we all know guitar-strangling Ted wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless it had antlers.
So Does That Make 2012 a Foregone Conclusion?
It would seem so. Besides, how do you stop a train in the middle of the wreck?
Ted Nugent, the feisty 2nd Amendment advocate and gun enthusiast, has not been shy about denouncing the liberal shift toward more gun control.
Gun Control, As In Using Two Hands?
Terrible Ted spends much of his time in the woods hunting, and to level playing field, he now advocates the right to arm bears.
We are currently upgrading our web site.
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We are currently in the process of upgrading our web site. Please check back in the coming weeks to view our new and improved “The Pirate Eye” web site. Easier to find content, more user interactions, more cool videos and awesome stories.
Easter Egg Hunts – Treasure Hunters in Training
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Drag the kids with you on your treasure hunt. Who knows? They might find an egg.
Easter Egg Hunts – Preparing Micro-Pirates for Treasure Hunts Since 0 A.D.
Aspiring little pirates should take heart and consider annual Easter egg hunts as training for their future, genuine, hidden treasure searches.
Because it only gets tougher when the treasure is sometimes hidden… often to the extent of being buried… like maybe deep within a nasty cave… with no cable TV… and so forth.
That’s Harsh
This is why it is massively critical for children to undergo annual Easter egg hunt training. And “hiding” neon-colored eggs from them on the surface of a newly-mowed lawn is not sufficient training.
The eggs should be hidden in such a fashion as to challenge them adequately. Such as in a bowl… under a pile of steaming broccoli… while being poked with a fork by their sadistic little sister… and so forth.
We’d Rather Look in the Cave
Just as we shouldn’t expect pirate treasure to necessarily be found on an exotic beach… conveniently next to a tiki bar… where one might acquire rum-based smoothies… while listening to reggae… and so forth. Even though this is the best place to look if you are searching for us.
So Where Do You Really Advise Grown-Ups Look for Treasure?
Nice try.
